faith; looking past the horizon

2005-11-18T07:55:00.000-08:00

I made a decision and started to
Walk down that aisle.
Lined with people
Waiting to utter a prayer of blessing over me

I walked and walked.
This is the greatest decision in my life! I thought.
It was certainly to be.
But, it’s not going to a bed of roses. That, in my heart I know.

I walked and walked.
No, this distance is nothing compared to the distance my Savior walked
To the Cross of Calvary
Just to redeem an unworthy sinner like me from the eternal depths of fire.

I finally reached the altar;
I fell on my knees.
I prayed and prayed for His forgiveness
Tears streamed down my face. Endless, they flowed like rain.

Finally they stopped.
I got up to my feet;
People around me were rejoicing! For angels rejoice when even a sinner repents.
That was my first experience with the love of the Lord. it stays vivid in my sea of memories

Daily, as I advance towards the day where I’ll finally meet my Creator
I’ve climbed the thin rope to reach the blessed One.
The rope snapped! Because of my faith which was as small as the grain of sand.
But pressing on, I found another rope and climbed
Up,
Up,
Up,

To heaven!

What a pretty sight. Pretty isn’t even the word!
It was breathtaking
Even more beautiful than your Nigeria Falls;
Your seven wonders of the world.

And I looked back.
That day which seems like yesterday.
That day I walked down the aisle full of people
I’ve never regretted
Maybe once, twice when I was discontented with life
But I know, my greatest reward
Is in heaven, where my Father dwells.
And I will be with Him forever and ever

Amen.

2005-11-18T07:54:00.000-08:00

Crossroads.
When you made your decisions at one, another comes.
So quick, so soon
But the unchangeable fact comes:
Time and tide waits for no man!
You got to accept it. If not then, I suggest you forget it.

Words.
They break no bones, and yet can break many hearts
Oh how many times have I uttered a word without thinking
In the end, wishing that I can take them back
Buy them back with the measly five dollars that I have.
Impossible, impossible.

Life.
What right did I have to take away a life, a child of God? None, none at all
When will we ever start to treasure it?
When we’re a split second away from a speeding car?
We’re such ungrateful creatures!
And yet while treasuring life, be not part of the world.
When, can we truly say we love the Lord more than life?

God.
The most important One in my life.
The most High.
Who highly favors me, who deeply loves me, who greatly blessed me.
But what have I done to deserve all that?
Nothing! I am the one who put Him on the Cross

heart of worship

2005-05-18T02:37:00.000-07:00

took a closer look at the song heart of worship. i tot to share this.

when the music fades
and all is stripped away
and i simply come
longing just to bring smth tt's of worth that will bless Your heart.

[when there is no music; no guitar, no drums, no piano will you still worship God? how about when everything is taken away from you? will you go to Him with that simple, innocent childlike faith? to long to give smth thats of worth, to bless Him?]

i'll bring You more than a song
for a song in itself is not what you have required.
you search much deeper within
thru the way things appear
you're looking into my heart

[why not bring him more than a song? he's not longing for that song, but the willingness in your heart. he wants more than that song. he searches deeper within, into your heart, past the external looks and how things appear to be.]

im coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus
im sorry Lord for the things i've made it..
when it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus..

[the heart of worship - is to worship Him with not only your song but your life, your daily actions, words and thoughts. to lead a holy life acceptable to Him, a pleasing sacrifice unto His name. we've made worship to be all about music and songs. but it's all about one person - Jesus.]

king of endless worth
no one could express
how much You deserve
though im weak and poor
all i have is Yours, every single breath

[God's goodness is just too great to express in words. what He deserves cant be said in just one or two words. we're weak and poor but what we have is His breath of life in us, to keep us going.]

(: hope this has blessed someone's life. smilez.

2005-05-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34)

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians :30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

deny thyself.

2005-05-09T01:13:00.000-07:00

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
battle between grace and pride
give up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain,
wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
this sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust get blown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
and I pray, and I pray, and I pray
take my world apart..

I have to deny myself to love...
To deny my pride to humility...
Deny my rights for love knows no law...
God prune me...
The pain that tears can't hide
The cost of love is much to us
Wretched us....

Empty my heart from myself Lord...
That I may learn to love...
That I may learn to love...
The pain of stripping all my rights,
The pain that tears can't hide...
Restore my brokeness...
Because I want to love,
I want to shine your light...

2005-05-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem;
not to mention that Friday at Calvary.
Face it, He's crazy about you.

God answers Knee-Mail!

____

why did God choose such a torturous way to die? isnt just dying and rising from the grave "enough"? why go thru the thorns on His head, the stripes on His back?..

are we living for him? (:

just wait

2005-04-30T01:06:00.000-07:00

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and wept for a clue to my fate…
And the Master so gently said, “wait.”

“wait? You say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and claiming Your word.

My future and all to whish I relate
Hangs in the balance and You tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign.
Or even a ‘no’ which I’ll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask and we shall receive.
Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied again, “wait”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “so I’m waiting.. for what?”
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine..
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and please you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When the darkness and silence are all you can see.

You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true
But oh, the loss if I lost what I’m doing in you
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest gifts is to truly know Me.
And though often my answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still.. WAIT.”

-Russell Kelfer

dirty mop water

2005-04-21T06:13:00.000-07:00

Dirty Mop Water

It seems to be quite often that my kitchen is in need of a good scrubbing. With a very active two-year-old in the household, and lots of activity that goes with it, it is only a natural by product. The place that always needs cleaned the worst is the kitchen floor. Between play dough, half eaten cookies, and a whole host of other things, it bears the worst of a two-year-old's onslaught.
In order to clean the floor, you must start with clean and hot soapy water. This will clean anything that it touches. Hopefully, when I am done cleaning, my floors will be white again, and not a dingy brown. God seeks to do the same thing with our souls. What is dirty and brown with dirt, He seeks to clean and refresh.
In order to clean the floor effectively, you must get on your hands and knees, get a little dirty, and get all the corners and hard areas clean again. God wants to do the same thing when you get on your hands and knees and pray. God will answer you when you come to Him in prayer.
Cleaning a floor takes effort, and it takes time; you can't rush through it. You must be prepared to clean the floor, then after the two-year-old runs through, be prepared to have to do it again. It is in doing a task time and time again that God teaches us patience, self control, and a whole lot of other spiritual lessons. We must be open and willing to learn from them as we go through life.

footprints in the sand

2005-04-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

One night a man had a dream. He dreamt he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonged to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happens at the lowest and saddest times in his life.This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed You most You would leave me."

And the Lord replied," My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you or forsake you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only see one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

chat with God

2005-04-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No. Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am In the midst of something.
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic.It's rush hour all the time. God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still cant figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?
God: Problems are purposeful roadblocks offering beneficial lessons (to) enhance mental strength. Inner strength comes from truggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure decided by you You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do I stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me". Everyone wishes to have truth on their side,but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get an answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and don't doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.